Magical Yahoo Readings
I should of stayed with Quick!
I went back to Salem, the Witch city, where I before lived for twelve years. But after one immature 40 year old, an eight hour walk, a year in a two bedroom apartment alone, Mr. Jeckyl and Mr Hyde Landlord, a friend of ten years accusing me of rape, an accident from three years ago suing, my paintings vandalized, a half pack of cigarettes, and partridge in a pear tree I got out of Dodge and headed back to Jersey in December. I have been back since to Salem, but this time I came back to play psychic in the Halloween capital of the world.
Every associate of years, I play a Carny of sorts in town. One year I worked in a Disney land of Ghouls filled with animatronics. Got onto the Discovery channel working there. Worked doing ghost stories. Then another year I worked on a ghost tour and found out that Giles Corey, you know the guy when he was pressed to death under accusations of being a witch just asked for more weight, was seen a few years back. Well his ghost at the minimum. The rumor goes that he appears in the Howard Street Grave Yard near the countries second oldest jail, next to the one filmed in the Shawshank redemption, on Bridge Street. The graveyard they killed him in and he cursed all the county Sheriffs by blood ailments. The last one who served at the jail, did survive his heart attack though.
Well Mr Corey is suppose to be seen on the eve of any great disaster in Salem. He was already seen before the Great Salem Fire of 1914. Well the last time he was seen was on the eve that a young woman took her life down at the Willows. This was the same night I had spent with my x-fiancee in another graveyard across town with sour patches, dipsticks, and fairy wands. Only if I was in that graveyard, he could of warned me about that great tragedy in my own personal life. For she did turn out to be one. Now that is another story, for another time!
But this October I was to work in a Psychic fair. No I am good at it, real good. But up to that point I though it was a gift you returned as a gift. But I changed my mind. So I was to work for a guy who thought I was a real flesh in blood werewolf. He also wanted to pick me up, but soon he was to find out I was all for the yahoo.
I showed up two days late for the fair and was singled out on my first day. Yep, the yahoo found me. It was not hard to choose me. The rest in the room were either gay or other women. Being psychic and all, I had seen a flash of her naked and I knew I would be sleeping with her that night. Which made me only shake my head, side to side. But later on I am glad she was a bit more trimmed… Than in the vision.
But it all started out in that traveling road show from bar to bar. After work we all went out like some theatrical troop visiting the local taverns. The rest of them alone were motley enough, but we put the cherry on top. truly I found out that the only cherry that was under the table was the one that spilt out from her drink. She needed serious work on her poker confront. She was no French courtesan, at all.
The show must go, and so it did unto the next bar! At the Beer Works we picked up a lesbian associate into our audience. And they were glad they paid the price of admission. One of them got redder than that cherry earlier mentioned. The other just egged us on. I just felt sorry for the waitress whose nape of her bosom that went from red to five alarm chili red by the end of the night. The yahoo was yodeling alright! The rest was to catch up later.
The funny thing about witches is, they are all goddess this and oh goddess that! Until you get them on their back and it is all oh Gods from there on in.
Now here favorite comment followed by her own rare Fran Dresser laugh was “If it ain’t pleasing me, to please you! It ain’t happening!” Throughout our month long affair she went from being divorced, to separated, to forcing her husband to live in the basement for five years like some troll. That Christmas I was sent a shirt from Norway by an Aunt I only met once whose mother was a Shaman of sorts that read “Love your neighbor, but keep your hands off his wife!” Strange gift from a woman I only met once who was 9,000 miles away at the time.
So one day a client came into the fair and asked about what kind of Psychic readings do we offer. disinctive about tarot, runes, psychometry, past lives and the like. She was told that my adulteress partner was very good at doing magical Yahoo readings! The client was told that the psychic looked into the dark foreboding abyss of the yahoo and divined her future. Well that cherry color came back again.
On second thought, I think I should of stared down into that yahoo and stuck with a Nestle Quick instead!